Hans Gruber and the Die Hards 2

by Hans Gruber and the Die Hards

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1.
All I want 01:05
And that’s all I want too! Food on the table A place to lay my head Clothes on my back That's all I want! Meat in the freezer A nice set of sheets A good pair of shoes That's all I want! A washer and dryer A deeper sink Some organic soap That's all I want! A bigger TV A two story house A mid-size car That's all I want! A walk in closet A sweet jacuzzi A little me time That's all I want! A fully stocked bar A maid and a butler The finer things in life That's all I want! More, I want more, I want more, I want more I want more, I want more That's all I want!
2.
Collapsed bearing the weight Of his ever dying soul A lone figure lifts himself up knowing This is not the way he goes Buried 'neath the sand dunes Nor drowning in the sea Before his time has come There is vengeance he must seek Steady he'll press on Until the time has come Where he's finally killed the Colonel With his own gun Holstered at Burro's side Growing heavy as he nears His final destination Year after year Reaching the town Where the Colonel's left his mark Burro marches towards the bar The only place to start Calmly, pressing forward His memories filled with death A conquered people have no fear For they have nothing left Burst into the room After knocking down the door Civilians flee in panic Not knowing what's in store Firing off three shots he screams "Don't you know who I am" Terrified, the Colonel utters “Burro the Man” Woah! Burro the Man! I am Burro the Man!
3.
The Earth’s Flat We never thought that you would ask us Our expert opinion We know that NASA guards the ice wall It runs along Earth’s rim 100 feet tall And gravity's an illusion, objects don't fall Cause this disc is a disc is a disc, not a ball It accelerates upward 32 feet per second I said, I said, I said the Earth’s flat How the fuck did you not know that? You globies You’re all so fucking stupid And NASA, you’re so full of shit
4.
Deja Voodoo 01:45
They say the definition of insanity Is trying to change while doing the same thing All philosophies are based on assumptions Your assumptions don’t mean shit to… And I feel like I’m losing my mind Been here before And I know this time I just can’t take it anymore Looking back over my shoulder in victory But then I see your face laughing right in front of me
5.
I cannot believe This internet hoax in front of me Black eyes, sharp teeth They just need a ride home Before I leave There is clearly something wrong There’s no resisting This dread chills me to the bone Gaunt face, color drained I’ve made a terrible mistake Cough blood, sharp pain Coincidence, I’m sure though Those eyes, haunting Shivers quake down my spine They will, not go I’ve finally lost all hope Why did I let them in? Black Eyed Children haunting me Is there nothing I can do to make them leave I guess that I must live with it Black Eyed Children haunting me I feel my life slowly draining away from me
6.
Wandering through the streets, I first saw it on the news They told us with a straight face, “don't panic now it's just a few” And I've watched enough movies to know They're all about to lose control, welcome to the horror show Then I spotted one with my own eyes She was blending in with a red hat, but I saw right through the lies Never shot a gun before, I never took a punch But I'm sure as hell not gonna sit around and be somebody's lunch The plague has spread The time has come to shoot ‘em all in the head I'm a great American hero Just like Grandpa did on D-Day I'm a great American hero We're anti-zombie USA Well, it didn't take long to spread throughout the heartland Those morons had it coming, but it's not too late to take a stand Take to the streets, comrade answer my call And now we know for sure that the Russians were behind it all Why won’t anyone else take this threat seriously? I know they look normal, but they're not the same as you and me Fear not, for I am here to save the day I'm the hero no one asked for, but I'm fighting for you anyway I'm a great American hero Just like Grandpa did on D-Day I'm a great American hero We're anti-zombie USA I'm a great American hero Steve Rogers slug ‘em all in the face I'm a great American hero We're anti-zombie USA Shoot first! Think never! Now, the armies of darkness have conquered the whole town You gave peace a chance, but in war there is no middle ground There's blood on your hands and you're the one to blame You cowered behind your morals when the enemy came As I stare into the abyss I finally see Come to think I'm feeling rather hungry I bite into your neck and rip apart your face I'll do it all again so I can save the human race
7.
Polka King 02:07
There once was a man, everyone should know Dancing through his life, so I'm told By day he crafted crates and even in old age Nothing could stop him when he hit the dance floor Let's drink to the king Grab someone and dance the night away Let's drink to the king That's how he'd want it anyway So cheers to the Polka King Freddie K The night was slow at the bar, Freddie had no car Everyone was bored and going home Then someone saw a light, a tractor in the night Nothing could stop him we all hit the dance floor And now he is gone, but together the legend lives on
8.
Scaling Down 02:10
Scaly skin in my yard This time they’ve gone too far You can’t scare me I know the truth Earth has to know they’re coming for you New World Order at DIA Reptilian overlords hiding away In plain sight, actors on TV Could be anyone, you or me See their tongue split in that frame? Slit iris gives them away Ain’t no way that they’ll take me At least not alive, can’t you see? I’m not paranoid! Where will you be when they come? Me, I’ll stand up and fight Flash! Bang! It’ll all be over The end is in sight See their tongue split in that frame? Slit iris gives them away Ain’t no way that they’ll take me At least not alive, can’t you see? Where will you be when they come? New World Order!
9.
Instrumental
10.
Furbaby 02:38
When we first met it was love at first sight Laughing hard and hanging out late into the night But then I noticed in your window much to my surprise Staring back at me you already had another guy Oh no! Furbaby! Furbaby! She loves her dog more than me I'm Howlin up the wrong tree She loves her dog more than me Now don’t get me wrong dogs are man’s best friend I didn’t even care when he bit me in the head But the bedroom’s where I have to draw the line When you said doggy style I kind of had something else in mind Sometimes we just all need to take a stand After all I’m still a man And I know I can never compete, this can only end in defeat And it stings to swallow my pride And it kills me, I have to say goodbye Really kills me, I have say goodbye And it kills me, I have to say goodbye Why can’t I say goodbye?
11.
Shake, shake, shake, Senora Shake your body line Shake, shake, shake, Senora Shake it all the time Work, work, work, Senora Work your body line Work, work, work, Senora Work it all the time My girl's name is Senora I tell you friends, I adore her And when she dances, oh brother! She's a hurricane in all kinds of weather Jump in the line, rock your body in time Ok, I believe you! Jump in the line, rock your body in time I said ok, I believe you! Jump in the line, rock your body in time Shut up Hans, I believe you! Jump in the line, rock your body in time Shake, shake, shake, Senora Shake your body line, Shake, shake, shake, Senora Shake it all the time Work, work, work, Senora Work your body line Work, work, work, Senora Work it all the time You can talk about Cha-Cha Tango, Waltz, or the Rumba Senora's dance has no title Jump in the saddle Hold on to de bridle Jump in the line, rock your body in time Ok, I believe you Jump in the line, rock your body in time Hoist those skirts a little higher! Jump in the line, rock your body in time Up the chimney Jump in the line, rock your body in time Shake, shake, shake, Senora Shake your body line Shake, shake, shake, Senora Shake it all the time Work, work, work, Senora Work your body line Work, work, work, Senora Work it all the time Senora, she's a sensation The reason for aviation And fellas, you got to watch it When she wind up, she bottom, She go like a rocket Jump in the line, rock your body in time Okay, I believe you! Jump in the line, rock your body in time Hoist those skirts a little higher! Jump in the line, rock your body in time Or better yet, just take them off! Jump in the line, rock your body in time
12.
Tune in to the Antiques Roadshow Monday Nights at 8! Down in Kansas City bring in your grandma’s chair Passed it down to you oh she got it from somewhere Hopefully you’re lucky and got a national treasure This rug on your wall I hope it’s native made I saw a farmer bring one in it’s value was insane Although I really wish it didn’t have that wine stain
13.
7 AM think I’ll snooze that shit again Is today worth waking up for? Should I go to work? Well I guess it all depends Is today worth waking up for? How did things get this way? I’m really not trying to waste my life away No one seems to care I should have seen it coming but I got caught sleeping again I laugh as the waves crash in This ship is going down But I’m just not ready to give in Never gonna take the easy way out I’m left to hang dry I’m still wondering why Is today worth waking up for? That’s okay money never motivated me Is today worth waking up for? Oh no think I made a mistake The waters coming in gonna drown if I stay Guess it never meant a thing to me And I never wanted to be the guy faking a smile It still doesn’t feel right to me But at least I’m still alive
14.
Hazmat suits bright as daisies Dragging out a man covered in feces Never a dull moment in this neighborhood Real life Walter White don’t look so good Cook it in the tub of a motel Get busted when you try to sell To an undercover cop in the neighborhood Real life Walter White don’t look so good
15.
Saint Elsewhere it started Where Tommy created All of our favorite TV series Envisioned a murder Bayliss and Pembleton Connecting homicide, life on the streets It’s in his head! Cheers and then Frazier John Larroquette's show Introduced us to Yoyodyne A client of Angel Like Weyland-Utani Reynolds battle of serenity Oh! Tommy Westphall! You're the reason for it all! As far back as Lucy Adventures of Superman Now we include Kara Zor-El Green Hornet and Kato Bam Pow'in on Batman And Penguin went to hang with the Monkees Thank goodness it's funny With Urkel convincing Stephanie Tanner that glasses are cool Grace under fire Had Luther and Carey And Carey is how we got to The Norm Show It’s in your head Tommy! You made it up Tommy!
16.
One summer, forever ago I found a little alter in a glacier far from home Clasped in his hands, the dead man’s grasp Wouldn’t let go of my treasure so I hacked him with an ax! The dead man rose and asked for my name Using not any modern tongue, but all the same He peered into my soul, with one last breath And thanked me for releasing him from life without death The years soon passed, I’m six hundred and ten I watched my children die, been with men and women So I write out this letter, I hope it’ll be my last For the madness’ taking over and my mind’s set to one task I must find someone to take my curse Someone afraid to die, I’ll give them something worse Give your name Tell me your name and I’ll give you my curse Life without death, now there’s nothing worse

credits

released August 9, 2019

Chris Thompson on Drums
TJ Robinson on Vocals
Kurt Armstrong on Bass, Trombone, Vocals, & Percussion
Hans Emanuelson on Guitar, Trumpet, Vocals, Percussion, & Keys
Rosey Armstrong on Tenor Saxophone, Vocals, & Percussion

Recorded, Engineered & Mixed by Drew LeClair at Studio 8522
Mastered by Jim Wilson at Jim Wilson Mastering, Colorado
Illustration & Design by Kyle Armstrong
Produced in the U.S.

Jump In The Line written by Lord Kitchener
All other songs written by Hans Gruber and the Die Hards
hansgruberandthediehards.com
hansgruberandthediehards@gmail.com

Paper+Plastick 2019
Paperandplastick.com

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